Yipeeee!! New Year has come at
last bringing joy and happiness along. It is chill outside and I feel the
thrill inside me because it is new year today. I thought why not watch a movie
on this cold wintery night. So we all sat in a bed and packed ourselves nicely in
quilts and blankets. I was feeling as warm as a walrus. We started watching the
movie of Toy Story. It was movie in which toys get alive when no one was
watching them. We watched the movie till late in the night. Then my parents
went to sleep and my brother and I came to our room. While we were sitting
there silently still thinking about the story of Toy Story, we wished that our
toys also come alive some day. Lo and Behold!!! our toys were standing there,
all alive, looking at us. We both were very happy to see them. Then a toy said,
since it is new year today, why don't we have a party here. We all happily
agreed. Some of the toys prepared drinks, some baked chocolate-chip cookies,
and some got packets of chips. We ate and ate till nothing was left to eat.
This made me very sleepy. The next day when I woke up, the toys had gone back
to being toys. But we both had a big smile on our faces as we both knew the
secret of the previous night. This was perhaps the best New Year ever and I am
sure our toys will play and party with us next year too.
JUDGE’S VIEWS:
Renee : What fun
to think that toys might come alive and party every New Year’s Evening! Your use of a simile to describe your warmth
like a walrus was very effective. Your
story tells much about what happened but little about how your characters felt
about their fun New Year’s. Feelings
make a story come alive for the reader.
This short story has the potential for a very funny longer story when
you describe all the mischief that the toys create.
Neha : Good story, good premise and a
good ending. A major flaw is the change of tense from present to past.
No grammatical
errors and creative skill is evident.
A good attempt
Sandhya : I was a
bit intrigued by the expression “warm as a walrus”. I have never come across it
before, so I did a Google search on it. I found this
very informative article that explained how, indeed, walruses do stay warm in freezing waters. An
interesting usage!
Very well narrated. Would have loved to read some dialogue,
though. Maybe some talk between you and the toys?
Keep reading and writing.
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